Technology: March 2009 Archives

It's software that listens to music for you. It's been used to work out which drummers use click tracks, the way composers and producers use harmony and volume in their music and recommend works you might just like. But the defining moment for the Echo Nest has arrived. It demonstrates that music hasn't lived until you've put a donk on it.

Inspired by the Blackout Crew - Beastie Boys meet the Chuckle Brothers - DonkDJ will "automatically remix your favourite songs using the secret bangin' remix formula". Because there is no finer remix formula than the one used for scouse or bouncy house. Take a toon, any toon. Speed it up and, here's the important bit according to the Blackout Crew, put a donk on it ("Eh, it's good that Tony"). There's a place set aside for a square-wave bass blip that sounds like R2D2 being hit with a rubber hose and it's halfway between the kick-drum hits.

I've tried MoreCowbell, in which you get to satisfy Christopher Walken's thirst for percussion with the tune of your choice. But nothing compares with putting a donk on it. You won't be able to listen to Ernie the Fastest Milkman in the West again without the mighty donk. Or just upload your own tune and have it donked, although I tried it a couple times today after failing to give Immigrant Song the proper donk treatment last night. But the downloads seem a bit poorly. Maybe the site's all tuckered out after having done an estimated 4500 remixes.